cultivating when I grow up...
Whenever I was younger I wanted to be a lot of different things. There's a picture of me about aged 5 dressed in a paramedic jacket and a hard hat in the Children's Museum in Mpls. Then I wanted to be a baseball player like Kirby Puckett...only I wasn't short, round, or black...hmmmm, this meant I needed to choose another career.
The ideas were from one side of the spectrum to another, from being a teacher, an architect, a fighter pilot, a doctor, a nurse, in the army, a business woman, a writer, a translator, a paramedic, a linguist...
And now I am a civil servant, I work in an office most days, dealing with a utility industry and bemoaning the fact that I still wonder what I want to be when I grow up. One thing I have discovered about myself through all this is that I actually LIKE change. Yes, odd, isn't it? After being in my current job for only three years, I wonder about doing something else. Yet one of the things about the civil service that I dislike, is the fact that one is moved every several years to a different post in order to gain more stills so one can move to the next grade level. I would prefer to gain knowledge in an area and then be promoted on merit as I am more useful to the company. No such luck here.
As I think about what I do and what about my job attracts me, I wonder if it's just that I feel like it's useful and I'm (slightly) making a difference. In reality, I struggle to be inside the bulk of the day, and I want to be doing something that is changing the Kingdom of God.
I've decided recently that I'm going to start learning to do new things or reinforce some things that I already know and want to be able to do again or do more fully. Seeing as I am not sure "what I'm supposed to be when I grow up", I'm going to teach myself how to do new things and see what happens.
like knitting and going back to studying languages and get stuck into 'studying' the Bible rather than just 'reading' the Bible.