Thursday 2 September 2010

days like this

There are days when the smallest things hit me like a tonne of bricks. And days when nothing touches me. Today was a bizarre combination of the two.

I had two quite serious meetings at work today. One involved my Director (the head of my Division) and a Director and the Chief Exec of the company with which we do business. It was a necessary meeting. But it shouldn't have happened. The work should have been carried out at lower levels without having to get these two men involved. But the work didn't happen, and so the meeting. It was rather uncomfortable at times. My boss making the case, their Director making the case against it. Me bringing some facts to the table and then their CE quietly telling their Director what they were going to do and basically pulled rank (as he should be able to do) and agreed to do what we said they must do. So a result, but an awkward one. I don't like seeing people put into that position where someone else has to put them down into their place. Especially as this Director is nearly 30 years my senior and very senior to me in work terms.

The other meeting involved the same company, only different staff. It started at 1400 and I left at 1615 while the meeting was still going on! It was useful information, but what was must more useful was the information they didn't 'try' to give, those comments that are dropped in conversation that aren't looked for.

The whole experience today was tiring. And I got home and got some news that hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was something I was neither expecting to hear, nor have the effect on me that it did. That was a surprise, and I don't like to be surprised at how I respond to things. For a moment I thought I had lost hope. But that is silly. There is no reason to do that. Especially when in reality I'm very pleased by this just was also difficult to hear.

So I'm at the end of the day. I'm tired, I feel like I'm running on empty. And tomorrow is another day of it. Good thing it's the weekend, but my goodness I almost feel like I need a good cry.

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