Friday 17 December 2010

changing seasons or jack of all trades...

It's snowing....lots. Unusual for us, but apparently not this winter as we've already had a bout of snow, which then melted and has now returned with a vengeance. Such a vengeance that A is stuck in England. Two flights canceled and he's now hired a car and trying to drive several hundred miles north to catch a ferry. If he gets the ferry he'll be back to NI sometime in the early hours of the morning. Fun - or something. At least he's with a co-worker.

I'm enjoying 6+ inches of snow and it's still falling. It slightly amuses me that the whole of the UK stutters to a halt with a bit of snow. I realise that putting the several million into the infrastructure would be impractical, so I'm not advocating that by any means. But really, snow isn't that big of a deal - put it in a low gear, go slow and don't stop - you'll be fine. Or just get out and walk. There is just no need for this widespread panic.

As the season becomes harshly winter, I remember times in my life when everything was like the death of winter. But even through times when there seemed to be no growth, roots were pushing deeper and eventually, small bits of green growth started to show. My life has been a dramatically changing season the past year. Recently, I've been finding it difficult to put words to thoughts, almost as if my brain is struggling to remember the basics of my mother tongue. This has happened a few times in my life, but never with such strength as it is currently. My husband assures me it's only because my brain is being stretched to it's limit with my job, and once that becomes more 'normal' instead of being a constant struggle, my brain will accept those things that I've known all my life. It better do that, otherwise I'm going to wander about trying to think of the word for 'toilet-roll'. :)

But seasons bring such interesting changes and through provoking ones at that. the past several weeks has brought thoughts of 'being content' and 'settling where planted'. Wanting to do everything has always been something I've had to watch out for. Jack of all trades, master of none, has always been an appropriate moniker for me. Not something of which I'm terribly proud. But I'm trying to settle down and focus on what's in front of me. Not to waste opportunities or forget that there are things right in front of me that I need to do, and do well. I need to not be selfish and keep looking always ahead, but look at the current season and see what I need to be putting myself into.

I'm wondering, though, if it's time I took a step back from some things. I want to make sure that I'm not pulling back from things and then filling my time wastefully. But there are a few things that perhaps are no longer necessary. The new year will be a good, natural time to re-evaluate.

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